From hate to love
by rinoaangelo
Summary: There is a big distance between hate and love, but it is said that sometimes to go from one to another you just need one step. That step may be trying to understand and be understood, something that is often not as easy as it sounds. One-shot writted for Where I belong challenge.


_**From hate to love**_

_By Rinoangelo_

_**Note: **_This is the English translated version of "Hate to Love", written for Where I belong challenge. As English is not my native language I asked for help, so you won't notice it : ). Ronin-ai was my beta reader and did a great job, thanks!

_**From hate to love:**_

She ran her hand over the polished surface of one of the desks in the classrooms on the second floor of Balamb Garden. It was a spacious and elegant room, with large windows on one wall that provided plenty of natural light. The surfaces, practically new and still free of imperfections, glistened in the moonlight.

Rinoa looked around absorbed. It seemed to her an elegant and beautiful place, singing with the rest of the building.

She had been in the Garden before, at the graduation party, when she had gone to look for Director Kramer. That had been her desperate last resort, the only card left for her to play; she had been lucky to find Cid and that he agreed to talk to her. Even then, she thought that that affable man didn't appear to belong as the director of a military school. She could have said the same about the ballroom, it didn't fit as a part of a military academy, but she attributed it to the luxurious character that the Garden had given that site. The room had its own separate entrance from the porch of the Garden, so there was no need to enter the main building to reach it. Security issues had influenced that design, she guessed, having seen the identification card readers that were in the building's entrance and the barriers that shut out unauthorized personnel. After all, it was a military institution; they could not allow unrestricted entry to everyone.

However, she was surprised when she first entered the main building of Balamb Garden; large, luminous, and with relaxing music playing softly in the background, almost imperceptible over the sound of the water splashing in the fountains in the lobby. Despite the emergency situation in which she was living, she took the time to appreciate the beauty and elegance of the place. And now that she was walking alone through the halls, she felt an increase of the peaceful sensation that had inspired her from the first moment she had arrived there.

All those boys and girls that were walking calmly through those beautiful corridors, living in this place so elegant and comfortable, were being trained to kill;¸and it was probable that most of them would die before turning thirty… or that they would lose a close friend in battle sooner than expected.

This strange mix of elements gave a unique character to Balamb Garden, endowed it with a strange duality between what the place transmitted and what it was in reality. Rinoa found it both ironic and sad at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" Spoke a voice from the other side of the room.

Rinoa jumped despite having recognized the voice. She turned to face the intruder; she had not even had heard the mechanical sound of the door when it opened.

Squall was looking at her, with his arms crossed over his chest and all the weight on one leg, with an annoyed look on his face. He hadn't bothered to turn the light on but Rinoa could sense his annoyance, the one that he often acquired when it came to her.

"Nothing!" She responded quickly "Just went for a walk. I don't know the Garden, so I was trying to…"

She hadn't the time to finish her sentence because Squall cut her off curtly.

"The curfew was twenty minutes ago. You shouldn't be here."He recalled that after the curfew all the doors close automatically and it required an electronic access card to pass them. "How did you get in?"

"The door was open. –"Rinoa answered, like it was the most obvious fact in the world.

"You've been here for more than twenty minutes?" He asked her.

For an instant, Rinoa didn't knew what to say, she hadn't bothered to take a look at her watch but supposed that it was possible that she had been distracted by her thoughts for more than twenty minutes. She had entered the room and had been absorbed with looking through the large windows at how the waves crashed with the moving building. The undulations of the marine surface shone in the moonlight and the few remaining sparks of light still on in the building were reflected in the water like powerful stars shining from the bottom of the sea. Rinoa was fascinated by the image; the mixture of lights dancing in the surface reminded her of the drawings of the fairytales she read when she was a child.

Normally she wouldn't let this line of thought take the lead of her mind, but in the last few weeks since she had contracted the SeeDs, everything had happened very, very fast. She felt exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally. Those had been vertiginous days and she needed to stop for a moment to process the events. First, she thought that Seifer had died, then she discovered that he was alive but had betrayed his comrades, then they fought him and the witch and she saw Squall pierced by an ice spike, later she discovered that he was fine and had to escape from a prison in the middle of nowhere to participate in a frenetic race to save Garden from the missiles…and now…now they were floating in the vast ocean with no destination. It was all crazy and surreal.

"It's possible, I don't know." She shrugged and smiled. "I was just thinking. I was not aware of the time."

"If I hadn't found you, you could not have gotten out of here. The doors lock automatically after the curfew." Explained Squall calmly but still with that hard expression on his face.

Rinoa took the ring that hung from her chain and played with it between her fingers. A habit she had acquired through the years to calm her nerves.

"I'm sorry." She said, diverting her gaze from Squall's inquisitive gaze.

There were a few seconds of silence, something that seemed strange to Squall. Rinoa was not the type of person who waited for others to start a conversation and, of course, did not miss an opportunity to question his behavior and look for an excuse to argue with him. Or at least, so it appeared to him. However, the black-haired girl was in absolute silence now and she didn't seem to have any intention of leaving the room.

Squall walked slowly toward her while she was still looking at the floor. When he was next to her he noticed the beautiful view from the windows; but it didn't reassure him, rather, it was a disconcerting sight. They had suddenly found themselves floating through the ocean with neither direction nor control, and unable to do anything about it.

"What are you doing here, anyways?" Rinoa asked suddenly. "Shouldn't you also be in the dorm?"

Squall looked at her, not really surprised by the question.

"We're doing a final sweep through the Garden, just to ensure that there are no monsters left."

"Oh… of course."

Although Squall's voice sounded more calm than most of time they had talked, she couldn't help but remember the hostile look she received from him the previous day. It was just after they had escaped the prison, when they'd divided into two groups: one to go to the Garden and the other to go to the missile base. While they were discussing who should form each group, Rinoa had said she didn't care which group she was included in (she was fine with anything, she wanted to help in any way that she could). Squall had glared at her with an expression that seemed to say "you have no right to speak or even to be there".

It was just a glance, and maybe it didn't mean anything but those cold eyes had pierced her, to the core. But, why had Squall's attitude affected her so much? Maybe it was his strong and imposing presence, something that she wasn't sure if Squall had realized he possessed. Perhaps it was just because she didn't understand him. She didn't understand why he was this way, so hard and so cold, unable to listen to what the others had to tell him.

"You didn't want me to come here." The words escaped her lips before she seriously thought to bring them up. She reproached herself mentally for her impetuosity, she had the unwanted ability to speak more than necessary… and that was why she and Squall argued constantly. But now she was too tired to face another discussion with Mr. Coldness.

But the words were already said.

Squall turned to face her, surprised by the sudden words. It wasn't even necessary for her to clarify what she was talking about; he already realized what it was. Despite the fact that Rinoa always seemed childish and irresponsible, she wasn't stupid. She always got what was said between the lines; and for some reason he could not quite understand, the girl had an unusual fixation with observing his behavior and questioning it. Squall realized that her words hadn't sounded like a question but a statement, and for no apparent reason a twinge of guilt seized his chest. He didn't have to feel guilty, did he? She was not even a SeeD, Rinoa was just a civilian whose disastrous plans had led them to that chaotic situation. She wasn't a Seed and she was acting like she was one of them…

She was nothing more than a stubborn nosy civilian.

But he still felt guilty.

What was she expecting? An apology? An explanation? What would he say? "_You are a meddlesome girl who believes she has the right to fight hand in hand with trained SeeDs. Plus, you have the maddening habit of invading my privacy and questioning my personal decisions and behavior. Sometimes, you're just annoying." _Thought Squall, but he wasn't in the mood to fight, so he kept this thoughts to himself.

Getting no answer, Rinoa looked up and her eyes met Squall's. She was surprised to find that the cold, hard gaze which she was getting used to was now replaced by a rare expression of curiosity.

"Why are you still here?" Squall asked.

Rinoa frowned. Did he mean why was she still the classroom? Or was he referring to something more general? Perhaps he was wondering why she was still fighting with them? Or was he just ignoring her statement and implying that she should go to her bedroom?

Seeing Rinoa's confused expression, the boy explained a little further.

"I don't understand it. You could have gone back to Timber with your friends. This…all of this, has gone out of control. It's dangerous and it's no longer just for the independence of Timber. I know that we haven't completed our contract with the Forest Owls, and we will do our job in one way or another, sooner or later. But you don't need to join us all the way."

Rinoa turned her gaze to meet his, thinking about what Squall had said. Despite his words seemed hostile, he had spoken them with an uncommon delicacy. He was not angry; he was just expressing genuine curiosity.

She guessed that most of the clients who hired SeeDs let them do the dirty work. Rinoa sighed and looked at him.

"Because it's my cause too," She said in a determined voice. "Timber is my cause; I can't cross my arms and expect others to do the dirty work for me. And…and you are where you are because of me. It was I who contracted your services so…so saving the Garden from those missiles was also my responsibility. You are my friends and this is your home."

"_Friends? We barely know each other"_ Thought Squall, but kept the words to himself. Despite the fact that Rinoa seemed intrusive and unaware from the first moment they met, he thought that her decision was brave and responsible in a way. He could come to understand her point of view, maybe the only problem was that they had different ways to proceed.

"Things will likely get more complicated." Informed Squall. It was true, he had the horrible premonition that their problems had just started.

"I know…are you worried about me?" Asked Rinoa with a playful smile on her face.

Squall looked away.

"I haven't said that. But it's dangerous, you know." He said with a shrug, as downplaying the issue.

"I know." Her voice sounded low and serious and the smile faded from her face. "If you are worried about your duties, then don't worry. I release you from your duty to protect your client…so you are not responsible for what happens to me anymore."

Of course he was not responsible for what might happen as a consequence of her childish behavior. Like when she approached the witch to give her a stupid Odine bracelet, or when she returned to the desert prison to save them; an act that perhaps was brave and noble but was also foolhardy and dangerous. But still…that he was not supposed to be responsible for someone's life didn't mean he didn't care about that life.

They were trained for this but she was not. Rinoa was nothing more than a really stubborn civilian, or just very uncomprehending of her situation. Squall wasn't sure which one of these two options was more accurate. Maybe it was both. Rinoa's friends in the Forest Owls came to his mind, as did the warning Zone had given him before they left for the North Station "take care of her or you will have to face me".

"Ok. You can stay if you want; you're free to do as you wish…but…be careful. You have friends who care about you."

Rinoa sensed the sincerity in his voice. She figured he was not referring to himself when he spoke of those friends, but she was still glad to see another side of that cold and taciturn boy.

"The same goes for you." Rinoa replied. "You also have friends who care about you, so…you be careful too. "

Squall looked at her and she smiled in return, knowing that the boy probably hadn't taken the time to think about the fact that his comrades considered him a friend. Squall likely hadn't even imagined how much they had worried when Edea's ice stake had pierced his chest a week ago. This time Rinoa smiled more for herself than for his companions, she found his strange innocence funny.

Meanwhile, Squall had no answer for Rinoa's statement, so he just nodded and kept watching the waves.

"I'm going to go to sleep," announced Rinoa, "Good night."

She gave him a small smile and walked away, hoping that someday, eventually, they would be able to get past their differences.

Maybe someday they could get along.


End file.
